Herbie: Fully Loaded

Herbie: Fully Loaded
Netflix | Amazon
Overall Rating: 6/10
Meets Expectations: +0
Apparent Rating: 6/10

Shockingly, this movie did not suck. All I knew about Lindsay Lohan is that she has no modesty and the news likes to show her scantily clad and misbehaving. I recorded the movie on TV, I would never have rented it because “skanky ho” is not to my taste. But I was home sick, there were no Netflix movies needing watching, so I watched this. Lindsay Lohan looks like the pretty version of the girl next door. If they had put Amanda Bynes in this (if you don’t know who she is, she’s the current iconic image of that in almost every teen movie I’ve seen this year), I would not have been surprised. There were some big names in this too, actors I’ve seen in bigger movies. The pleasant shock did not translate into the movie being better than I expected of the movie. It was definitely better than I expected from Ms. Lohan though.

There weren’t any really major flaws beyond the obvious– and you really have to suspend disbelief on this or you’re not going to watch the movie– sentient car bit.

The plot is trite in every single aspect: Father wants to protect daughter and squashes her dreams because girls can’t be race car drivers. Girl went away to college and learned how to lie and backstab her friends. Spoiled guy who is the current record-holder who feels like he deserves everything because people who are on top don’t deserve it unless we’ve seen the movie about them making it from nothing. I understand the need to have the underdog coming from behind, so we can all see how they deserve to win and how making the current king-of-the-hill deserve losing lessens the internal conflict for the audience. But sometimes I really want the plot of a feel-good story to actually have conflict— what if the person on top of the world came from nothing and earned their place and is beloved by fans for more than just the image of humility? Not everyone who wins is a bully who loathes hangers-on—— that’s the whole point of having the girl next door win, right? She’s not going to be the bully who doesn’t deserve the honor like the current jerk. But why won’t the power go to her head and everything float her up to the top until she thinks she deserves it all and becomes the same jerk?

Some things could have been improved, like the scene where the current driver of the family race car, the brother, was getting checked out by the doctor and fakes a vision problem. If that had been signaled by a wink or gesture, that would have helped. Also, 85% of the way through the movie, the mechanic who loves the girl discovers that he has no more credit to buy parts—- you’d think he might have noticed before then eh? Or at least mentioned money before this.

This movie was sheer cotton-candy fluff, designed for times when you can shut off your brain and just watch a feel-good movie without thinking too much.