Cruel Zinc Melodies
a fantasy book by Glen Cook
Amazon
Overall Rating: 5/10
Meets Expectations: +1
Apparent Rating: 4/10
There are a number of books in Glen Cook’s Garrett PI series. They are all adjectival metallic nouns. Cold Copper Tears, Cruel Zinc Melodies, Silver something. Whatever. Generally these foci are forced into the story and we’re made to put up with it. I can see it being a useful method for writing a series because the author can use it to hold things together. I really hate it when the technique is obvious though.
The main character used to be downtrodden and put upon and can’t seem to get past that. It’s really irritating to have someone who knows the chief of law enforcement, the heir to the throne, the best telepathic monster, a team of fairies, the head of the were rats, the biggest heads of the criminal underworld, the driving forces behind the biggest manufacturing enterprises, someone in every branch of the military, the best accountants, the royal tailor, the best security people… if there is someone at the top of any heap, Garrett knows him. And the guy cannot stop whining. He also can’t stop referring to himself in the third person–romance manner. (In romances, there’s this stylized referenced manner, people aren’t referred to by name but by descriptor. The red-headed lady. And because that can’t be constantly repeated like a pronoun, there are endless variants… Titian-maned, crimson locks, ginger girl, whatever. It’s always clear the writer bit off too much thesaurus and is burping it back.) Garrett refers to himself as “Mother Garrett’s Blue Eyed Boy” Or Mama G’s or Ma Garrett’s or whatever variant. I wanted to get in Mr Cook’s face and say “emulating pulp romances is a step down! Stop it.”
These are all irritations. But it’s been years since the previous book. And I spent the whole book trying to remember what was so interesting about these books. I liked it. But I have no idea why. If you are not a desperate fan, don’t bother.
The plot was really strange because about halfway through the narrator (who is Garrett having hindsight) said they should have been able to solve the mystery since they had all the information. Only the way the ending went, they didn’t. I think. I was amazed Garrett could follow along with the plot. He doesn’t seem that bright.
In summary, drunken asshole makes good, can’t seem to appreciate that, and story magically works out while idiot tells us we’re the stupid ones.
